Pressing On.

I realize my posts have a similar trend and often state the same truths. Regardless, I invite you to walk alongside me as you get a glimpse of my heart and the things God has taught me through this new phase in life.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:12-14

Eight months ago I graduated from college, finished my last day of work and embarked on a new journey--one that would have twists and turns I could not imagine. I spent my summer months roaming, searching, grasping for something. Finally in late July, after months of silence I heard His voice--a sense of direction, finally! So I gathered my earthly belongings and moved! Admittedly I thought that things would fall into place once I settled in--that I would have a source of income, a social life, a sense of purpose and belonging. It was as if I had pictured life after college to be the last chapter, that it was all smooth sailing. Of course, logically I knew there would be trials and I knew that I would be stretched but I am not sure that reality had struck quite yet.

Five months, 30+ job applications, and a hit and miss part-time job later I am beginning to realize something I knew all along--life is not the perfect dream! One thing remains true however, God is sovereign! I know I have said this before but I will not be convinced otherwise. I remember writing a philosophy paper in college about whether God determined good or if good determined God. Think about that for a minute. I don't remember my conclusion in the paper exactly but I can tell you this: God's desire is for the greater good. We are a narrow-minded, selfish people who ninety-nine percent of the time look to our own interests first. God is not confined to our way of thinking. He sees the bigger picture, the WHOLE picture. So what if things are not the way I planned. Regardless of my plan, my prayer is that I would be willing to further His kingdom! I have never before felt this strongly about that objective.

Even knowing these things it is easy to allow the fact that my finances are dwindling rapidly, that I have no prospects for employment and that I will likely have to move out of my apartment, get me down at times. Then there was tonight. As a youth worker I have the opportunity to hear a good friend and mentor share his heart. He spoke about pressing on. When you are in the thick of it, tired and can't muster up enough strength to take another step, press on anyway. When things seem grim, when all you want to do is quit, press on.

"Father, you know my heart. Your Word says You knitted me together in my mother's womb. You rejoice over me in love. Abba, when my strength is fleeting I cry out to You to lift me up. I have faith in You, not because of Your goodness towards me but because You deserve my praise. When my pride seeps to my bones, You are patient. You gently remind me of Your majesty. I admit, some days I don't want to do things the way You would have me do them. But with every fiber I cry,'All for Your glory.' Lord, let it be."