I liken my spiritual life to a cup. Up until this point in my spiritual journey the Father has been filling my cup--with knowledge, with love, with blessings. In each encounter with Him, He has poured more into me, bringing me closer to spilling over. In this past year I have sensed my cup reaching its capacity. This past Spring I attended a ladies retreat that completely smacked me over the head with God’s truth and His love for ALL people. He reminded me of a commitment that I made several years ago to follow Him with my entire being. Since that retreat this Spring my God has not let up. It seems everything I have heard or experienced in the past six months has been very specifically directed towards me. The message: It is time. Sit no more. Do. Go. Share.
This weekend I was reading a passage in Psalms and as I read it, it was as if God's power, majesty, love and authority were flying off of the page. I have read this passage many times before but as I was reading I couldn't help but think about this God--the God who parted the Red Sea, who flooded the earth, who brought fire from the sky, the same God who created the heavens and the earth--this God knows and loves me. So often I try to put Him in a box in my head, or to imagine the biggest, greatest thing that I can--but even still He is much greater. I am blown away that I have a personal relationship with the God who always was, always is and always will be. I mean, WHAT?! Seriously? That God knows and loves me? That God desires to use me to bring glory back to Himself? What? Me? I am so unworthy of such an amazing calling. I am nothing--we are nothing in His midst. I am truly humbled to call Him "Abba" when His glory and His majesty are so great that not even this world can contain them. How can I ever put anything before Him when I think of Him in this way? It's simple, I cannot. He is my everlasting. I am truly amazed.
Coming back to this cup of mine: up until this point my cup has been filling—today, however, my cup overflows. It is spilling over and I know it is time.
"Most High God, please break me that I might finally rid myself of all that is not pleasing to You. God, may I seek you desperately. May I realize that Your glory and Your majesty is so great that not even this world can contain it. And yet, Oh Lord, you love me. You are passionate about me. Oh God, I am blown away by You. I am broken before You. Father, how unworthy am I to serve You. Father, I pray that You would not be a God of convenience or good feelings. Instead Father, I pray that Your majesty would overwhelm me in such a way that I cannot be silent. Oh God, let it be"
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