Unworthy Wretch

I think about this time every year, I look back and think the same thing--"Wow, it's hard to believe that the year is almost over." This year is no different. The past few weeks have caused me to reflect on the happenings of my year, question the purpose behind some of my life circumstances, but always come to the same conclusion--the Lord is so good.

I am sure that I have realized this before but, recently I realized that I can do nothing on my own that is of any significance. It is so easy, when things are going well, to think that the Lord is blessing me because of something that I have accomplished. As if, I could turn the head of our creator, leaving Him thinking "Wow, look at how awesome Dayla is today. I think I am going to bless her since she was extra awesome." No, no goodness in my life comes from my own doing. The Lord doesn't "owe" me anything because I am good or kind or I was thoughtful enough to walk the proverbial old lady across the street. I don't know why He chooses to bless me but it is not because of anything I have done. No, the Lord chooses to give and to take away out of HIS own freewill. That is so good for me to remember (and often). It comes natural to pat myself on the back and think that any blessing coming from the Lord is because I was extra obedient, but truth be told the true blessing is that I don't deserve an ounce of His LOVE yet He gives it to me anyway. Wow, that blows me away. Unworthy yet still shown mercy.

I have been reading the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan in a small group at my church. We recently finished a chapter on loving others as Christ. The chapter itself led to a discussion of seeing the homeless and marginalized as equals and our charge to serve and love them. One individual in our class made the comment that he had a hard time feeling compassion for the homeless because they were to blame for their circumstance. It would be easy for me to point my finger at that guy and judge him as a heartless, self-centered individual, but to do that I would have to turn my judging finger and point it back at myself. How many times have I looked on someone without compassion, thinking it's their own fault they are in this position? The truth is, NONE of us are worthy of ANYTHING we have--not our status, not our possessions, not the love others show us, and especially not God's love. Yet we are called, just as Christ loved us (the undeserving), we too should love others. Who am I to ever judge whether someone is "worthy" of my time, love, or monetary gift? The Lord said go, give. It's that simple. Why do I make it so complicated with when, who and how much?

Isaiah 61:1 "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound."

"Father, may my life reflect You."