A few months ago when I graduated from college I had every intention of working a job at the school and hanging out in town--putting off as much change as possible. When that didn't work as planned I didn't dwell on the idea. Instead I went the other extreme of trying to find something completely unfamiliar. I considered jobs and schools in what seems like all four corners of the country. During the summer I had the opportunity to travel a great deal. Though I enjoyed every place that I went to I couldn't picture myself anywhere. What was even more distressing was the unrest that I felt in my heart. I began to wonder if my heart would ever feel a sense of peace in this world--a place of belonging. Many times I would long for heaven, for a sense of home with my heavenly Father.
After all of this, a few events transpired to get me to where I am today. Early in the Spring I had committed to go with my "home" church to Falls Creek as a sponsor. Without looking at the dates I later committed to fly to CA to hang out with a sweet friend. About a week before I was supposed to fly out I realized that the week I was planning to be in CA was the same week as camp. Suddenly I had a big decision to make: Go to the beach and not get to experience a week of sleepless nights and rowdy kids or be out the price of a plane ticket and follow through with my first commitment of volunteering to take community showers and "sleeping" in a room with 30 to 40 others. Naturally I chose the latter and before I knew it I was in the midst of 88 others, in a cramped cabin, in the middle of the Falls Creek chaos. As usual camp was exciting, exhausting and enriching all at the same time (Alliteration at its best). Monday and Tuesday went by without a hitch. By the time Wednesday night came around I realized this week wasn't so much about me sponsoring a bunch of lovable hoodlums as it was the first step in a series of steps that would bring me to where I am today and where I hope to be going.
There aren't many times in life when I can say that God spoke to me so clearly that I had no doubt of what He was calling me to do. Wednesday night, however, was one of those times. As we were worshiping together it was as if He had been sitting beside me and quietly yet clearly whispered in my ear "I want you to go back to Chelsea". My initial thought was "Are you kidding me? Tiny, going-nowhere, Chelsea?" and once again, without skipping a beat He said "...and I want you to love on teenagers." Being baffled by this new sense of calling I kept it to myself and began to wonder if Chelsea was the "home" my heart was needing. Once the week was over I ended up heading to Chelsea with the rest of the group. When we arrived at the church and I walked in the doors, there was this literal and overwhelming feeling of peace that rained down on me. It was as if the hold that had been on my heart was gone and I finally felt like I belonged. Right then I remember looking at my friend and saying "This is home."
Since then I have been transitioning back to the area. I had the chance to also attend the Youth Evangelism Conference with FBC Chelsea. It was there that God continued to reveal to me His calling. While there I encountered a friend who had been praying for someone to move the area to be a friend as she and her husband serve in a church not far from Chelsea and have been struggling. God is amazing!
Even though we agree to follow Christ sometimes we still allow ourselves to get in the way. This has been my case. This weekend I realized that I hadn't "lept" yet. Sure, I said I "thought" God was calling me back, but there was always an out--a plan B if you will. I had a plan: get a job, find a place to live, then join the church and get involved. Well after applying to sixteen places and only having one interview that didn't go anywhere it was quickly becoming apparent that "my plan" wasn't going to work. So I jumped in the Word and began reading parable after parable and scripture after scripture of Jesus showing and telling His people to take a leap of faith, throw out their plans and follow after Him. He gave me this picture of myself sitting on the edge of the boat with my feet in the water--not having jumped in yet. Even trusting in Him I had a safety of "...if this doesn't work out I can always go somewhere else." But you see, God wants all of our faith and our plans. So on Sunday I had this overwhelming conviction needing to take a leap of faith by joining the church...simply saying in obedience to God that I now have no plan B, that I will trust Him in this and I'm ready for the ride--I'm here now and I expect to be accountable for that commitment by joining a church. This is silly but that is probably the biggest and scariest step of faith I've taken.
So here I am...In Chelsea, America. I am looking for jobs, knowing He will provide and I am so excited to see where He takes me.
I will keep you up-to-date in the coming weeks on any news but in the mean time take a second to check out this song "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller which has somewhat become my theme song as of late.
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